Crossing the line. Why is it so easy to commit adultery?
Numerous social networks and dating sites have played a cruel joke on Muslims. What was created with good intentions often turns into a serious test of our faith. It’s easy to get acquainted and meet, and these meetings are controlled only by the degree of our iman. Meetings take place in the absence of close relatives, in secluded places, and young (and sometimes not so young) people, fueled by interest in each other, come to a sad ending - adultery.
Everyone thinks that he is the one who will be protected from this temptation. After all, he knows about the forbiddenness of this sin, performs prayer, fasts, and has a sincere intention in his heart to get married. However, regardless of the intention and the prayers read, one of us commits this grave sin from time to time.
Is it because we are too self-confident?
As the Turkish scholar-theologian Ali Reza Demircan writes, a believer, by observing prohibitions and restrictions on sexual desires, as well as giving up alcohol, performing namaz, du'a and dhikr, reaches a state that contributes to increased sexual desires. This is an obvious truth, which was confirmed by early Islamic scholars: “Every Muslim who is attached to the laws of Allah increases sexual desire” (Ibn Hajar Askalani). There is another feature of Islam's realistic approach to the sexual essence. Not a single person, unless he is under the special protection of Allah, can distance himself not only from sexual desire, but even from what is forbidden in the sexual sphere. And we can easily find proof in the Koran. Who does not remember the story of the prophet Yusuf? After all, even he would not have been able to refuse Zuleikha her desire if not for the protection of the Almighty. "She [Zuleikha] desired him, and he [Yusuf] would have desired her if he had not seen the sign of his Lord. Thus We turned away evil and abomination from him. Verily, he was from among Our chosen (or sincere) slaves."
For this reason, Islam recommends not relying on the changeable nafs, but taking precautions: covering the awrah, protecting your gaze from the forbidden, and not being alone with an outside woman or man. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ commanded the believers: “Do not approach women whose husbands and mahrams are not next to them (and therefore they are in sexual abstinence), and do not sit next to them. For the devil flows in the veins of each of you independent of your will, like blood flow."
And the most important measure is to ask Allah so that sexual desires do not lead to the forbidden. Each of us needs to turn to Allah with such prayers. You can use the du'a of Prophet Yusuf from the Holy Quran: “O my Allah! Deliver me from the snares of women. If You do not turn away their machinations from me, then I will yield to them and find myself among the ignorant.” Or another du'a that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ taught us: “O my Lord! I seek refuge in You from the evil of my hearing, from the evil of my sight, from the evil of my tongue, from the evil of my heart and from the evil their genitals."
By neglecting warnings and prohibitions, we get the expected consequences: brothers are unable to restrain their nafs, and sisters are unable to say a firm “no” in response to advances. And one can list for a long time what is the reason for women’s “reliability”: upbringing, the desire to be “modern,” interest in the unknown, passion, fear of being abandoned and being left alone. Each of the sisters must learn to say “no” to things that can harm her faith and purity. Whether it's privacy with a stranger, hugs, kisses, revealing clothes or flirting.
We do not fully understand the seriousness of this sin. To imagine what kind of anger he causes from Allah and what consequences he may have for us in the future life, it is enough to remember the punishment. Not a single sin (except for leaving religion) in Sharia has such a severe punishment as for adultery. Those who are not married are sentenced to one hundred strokes, those who are married, divorced or widowed are sentenced to death by stoning. The extent to which it can be enforced is another question, since very strict conditions are imposed for this, requiring the confirmation of four witnesses or one's own confession. But if this has already happened, then it is categorically forbidden to consider that this sin is not forgiven and cannot be redeemed if Sharia punishment has not been carried out on us. We remember that the Almighty forgives all sins, except polytheism and unbelief. We bring sincere repentance (namely, sincere, with a complete renunciation of everything that leads and pushes us to sin: communication, meetings, calls, forbidden glances), we realize the full gravity of what we have done, in order to sincerely regret what we have done, and make a decision never again Don't repeat this in life. Such repentance, by the mercy of the Almighty, will be accepted.
And one more point that needs to be remembered. If you have already committed adultery, hide it from people and do not tell anyone about it. Neither parents, nor girlfriends, nor future husbands or wives. Thank the Almighty if He hid your sin and gave you the opportunity to repent. Bringing one's own sins to public discussion is an extremely bad practice, which was prohibited by the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, companions and scholars. Bukhari cites a famous hadith that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “All members of my community will be forgiven, except for those who publicly declare their sins. Such people include a person who sinned at night, but Allah Almighty hid him sin, and in the morning he himself says: “Oh so-and-so! I committed this sin." And it turns out that he spends the night under the cover of his Lord, and in the morning throws off the cover of Allah."
It will be difficult to build a relationship that began with sin in such a way that the Almighty is pleased with it. Not all sisters have a mahram, but it happens that even having a mahram does not protect against adultery. Let's remember this when the next contender for your hand and heart invites you to meet and retire in a car, at home or in any other place.
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